To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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