Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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