Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
