More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
