I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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