His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
