you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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