This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
