just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
