i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
