Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
