After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
