idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
are you so shy because you have an std?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
