when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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