For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
