Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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