Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
