he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
