U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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