I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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