I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
