I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
