yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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