I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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