So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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