Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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