it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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