oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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