the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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