Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
