dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My cat gives me a boner
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
