Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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