Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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