the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
