lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
