I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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