well you can't waste a boner
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize