i used baking grease as lip gloss
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
