shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
love makes seman taste better
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
