SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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