Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
