Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
