you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
