he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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