first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
