Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
