my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh god it's open bar.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
