Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
