This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
