I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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