I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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