just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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