ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
