my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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