some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
