My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my shit smells like andre
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
