forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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