there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
