yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
