whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize