Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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